Survival

After reading Cormac McCarthy’s "The Road," I've pondered my ability to survive extreme circumstances and I've felt confident, based on irrelevant aspects of my character, such as my eschewing of cardboard sleeves for my coffee and dismissal of unnecessary utensils. For example, while eating pizza, I might think my chances of survival are superior to my friends' because I’m holding my slice in my hands instead of eating with a knife and fork. When smothering a piece of bread with a packet of butter, I might silently judge the person sitting across from me who is delicately patting his butter with a knife. Then when I analyze my empty reasoning, I realize that the Apocalypse would create more grilling tests of human survival than a surplus of bread and butter packets and an absence of knives.

This hyper-confidence I’m sure has something to do with being American, as well as just being a naturally competitive person. I don’t recognize this hubris in any Koreans I meet or see it at the same level in other foreign English teachers. I’m glad I possess this ability to leap to such great heights of imagined heroism, even though I can at times be out of touch. My self-reliance and stubbornness can create problems, such as suffering through menstrual cramps and headaches when I can simply take a pain pill and feel better. Bearing the pain only elevates my confidence until I start imagining myself as a medieval knight on a horse wielding a lance and charging after some frightened opponent. When I wake up I will sometimes start my day by reciting some inspirational quote about perseverance meant to motivate a country to go to war, not to motivate me to draw cartoon sharks and dinosaurs, but that’s how I like to start my day.