I smile pretty naturally, usually when making eye contact
with people, or performing some minor transaction or while engaging in small
talk. What I don’t like is men telling me to smile when I’m not in the mood.
Unless a man is a professional photographer directing a paid model, he can’t
tell any woman to smile. He has to earn that smile. Crack a joke. Do a funny
impersonation, say something stupid to break the ice. I was once at a party,
eating from the same gigantic popcorn bowl as a man who asked me, “Was it fate
or popcorn that brought us together?” That deserved a laugh.
Although I am a teacher who’s obliged to keep my students’
attention by being engaging and sort of funny, even at my own expense,
I’d say I go through life receiving more laughter and enjoyment from others than
spreading it myself. Life is a cabaret and all the men and women merely court
jesters. Isn’t that what Shakespeare said? Anyway . . .
Christopher Hitchens wrote an article for Vanity Fair
titled, “Why Women Aren’t Funny.” He defended his position in a video in which
he said that women as a gender are not funny. Well, neither are men, in the
same way that any group of people is not collectively anything. I love
Christopher Hitchens, but demeaning women for allegedly not having a fully
evolved funny bone seems unfair.
Women’s historical roots are not all that funny. For most of
history we couldn’t vote, receive formal education, marry whom we pleased, divorce,
have children if and when we saw fit, wear what we pleased, fend off sexual
harassment and other types of violence and intimidation, and pursue a career
that gave our lives meaning and satisfaction. To subject women to all this
nonsense, to deprive them of basic rights and then say, “You’re not as funny as
we are,” seems a bit naïve.
If a man says, “Was it fate or popcorn that brought us
together?” or something equally charming and dopey, social tensions are eased
and guards are lowered. This innocent humor and silliness lets women know that such
a man is not a threat. That letting down of the guard is the “surrender”
Christopher Hitchens was referring to.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where men need to pass the
humor test to show they are nice guys. We make the world we live in, and right
now, with sensitive egos at the top, women who make jokes, especially at the
expense of men, are often treading on thin ice. People who attempt to be funny
know that sometimes the jokes go terribly wrong and offend people. Well, what
if offending people could get you shunned, shamed, yelled at, or beat up by
someone bigger and more powerful than you? Men have been able to bounce back
more easily after their jokes bombed than women have.
Not only are women not free to be as funny as we could be,
but I’ve found even the type of laughter we exhibit and what we choose to find
funny is up for disapproval. On a night out, I recently laughed at a man who
was trying to dispense deep powerful wisdom. The problem is what he was saying
was so hilariously idiotic, demented, ignorant, and delusional. If he could
have controlled me like a puppet, I’m sure I would have nodded and smiled
appreciatively at being in the presence of a great philosopher. Instead, I
laughed with derision and left.
Comparing men’s and women’s ability to be funny, with
equality being a mere concept and not a reality in most of the world, is like
comparing plants that are not being cared for equally. One plant sits in the
window, is watered daily, and turns a vibrant shade of green. The other wilts
in a dark corner, is not watered, and is eventually kicked into a little patch
of sunlight and told, “You’re not as stately as that other plant.”
Really? Is that fair?
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