Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Post Kerfuffle Unruffling

The heat wave is finally over and I'll be able to sleep well tonight. The other night my two hours of damp sleep were muddled with disorienting dreams of packing. I was fleeing from one place to another, my suitcase and duffel bag a garble of clothes and art supplies. I threw my things inside as if frantically trying to patch up a hole in boat. People stood in my way, staring at me vacantly, wanting to chat and not realizing the distress of the situation. One of my friends helped--in a loose definition of the word "help"--but for the most part just sat on my bed with my laptop, scrolling down my Facebook page and commenting on my photos.

I'm staying at my friend's house while she's in Alaska and trying to write by hand ten pages a day. When I'm not writing, I'm filling my time with the laziest activities I can think of, mainly drinking lattes with friends. The last three months of crazy adventures have started to sink in. I've had plenty of time to lie in my friend's hammock and let my thoughts catch up with all that's happened.

I figure Istanbul is one of those amazing cities that should leave me in awe of my surroundings, not of my survival skills. I've seen the hairy underbelly of Istanbul, warts and all, and I should just go back when the time is right, when I can really enjoy myself without any complications.

I was telling my friend Judith that I'm trying to strengthen my intuition, and be a better judge of character. At home, I have a tightly-knit trusted network of friends, but when traveling, it's difficult to tell who's trustworthy and who isn't. I envy people like Judith, who have a built-in security software for their lives. I wish acquiring this knowledge were as simple as pressing a button and waiting for it to install, but life experience seems to be the only route.

Yesterday my friend Jess and I went fishing near Mt. Hood. The fishing was secondary as what really appealed to me was lounging in a boat and talking the afternoon away. We didn't catch anything, but enjoyed the beautiful scenery and each other's company. I told her I was recovering from shock after an ex messaged me telling me had gotten married on the spur of a whim. Two years ago I thought I'd be the woman to walk down that aisle toward him, or, as I'd call it now, that passage of imminent doom. Jess and I agreed that it was better his mystery wife than me.

It's time to chill out to relaxing music and get my other writing done, not that I'm living by a schedule or anything. Until next time.

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