Matt and Lucy by Nicholas Moore. Mixed Media on Linocut. On display at the Contemporary Art Center of Thessaloniki. |
A friend of mine, who is a foreigner like me, said she feels
embarrassed talking about her upcoming holidays because it implies financial
comfort that others may not have. Since then, the word “embarrassed” has been
whirling around in my thoughts. I’m familiar with the kind of embarrassment
that comes with not having money, of having to tell friends that I can’t “do brunch”
with them, although I have always refused to eat brunch on principle, not just
for lack of funds. I have recently been elevated to the middle class, but my
feelings on brunch will always stay the same. It’s a hoity-toity mealtime for
snobby rich people. Brunch is dumb. End of story.
Embarrassment is still an emotion I associate with being poor,
although I need to stop that. I’ve recited throughout my teens and twenties the
Benjamin Franklin quote, “Having been poor is no shame, but being ashamed of
it, is.” Thanks, Ben, but that’s a little easier said than done. There is still
some sensitivity when it comes to class, even though I can now buy perfume and
jewelry for myself and generous gifts for other people. I felt embarrassed on
an airplane recently when I bumped into a woman whose kids I used to babysit. When
I said, “Hello, I used to babysit your kids,” she replied, “You must have
really saved your pennies for this trip!” I wonder if she thought babysitting
was my career, and not just something I did in high school so I could go buy
more Tom Waits albums.
I’m in Thessaloniki, one of my favorite cities. I came here
to read, write, walk around, drink coffee, and feel safe. This city is like
Neverland, where most people don’t seem to have aged past 25. I love walking
along the water and seeing all the packed restaurants and bars full of happy people
having a good time. I made a new friend named Libni who lives in the Ivory Coast. I went to a nail salon for a mani-pedi and socialized with
nice women who sang along to songs on the radio. I went to a spa for a relaxing
facial massage. I shopped at my favorite jewelry store and bought exquisite
rings and earrings from a man who looks like Tim Robbins. He also gave me a
sparkly pink ring as a present. I’ll cherish it and I’ll always think of him
and his wonderful store when I wear it. The opulence doesn’t end there. I also
bought dresses at my favorite clothing store in Thessaloniki, a store called
Philly. I dined at my favorite restaurants, Mom’s Cooking and Koi Sushi. The
waiter at Koi Sushi thinks I keep returning because I’m enamored of him, but really, I just can’t get enough good sushi.
I’m a
creature of habit. When I love a place, I keep coming back. When I was at the
nail salon, I told the women that I want to live in Thessaloniki. They said
that wasn’t a good idea because life is hard in Greece right now and salaries
are low. It’s these kinds of humbling heart-to-hearts with people that help me
understand what my friend was talking about. I won’t feel embarrassed about
living luxuriously from time to time, but I will feel extremely lucky.